Bring Him Back
by ShootingStarIsFree
Summary: Remus and Sirius have the perfect lives together. A nice house next door to their best friends, a beautiful four-year-old daughter and, of course they have each other. That is until one night, when Remus drives off alone. Muggle AU. Wolfstar.
1. Chapter 1

It had been an awful day for Sirius Black.

As he walked out of the door into the cloudy day, the sky had broken and unleashed a torrential downpour upon his favourite work suit.

He got to work to discover that his secretary had taken ill and wouldn't be in, so he had to sort his own paperwork out, which meant he was running around the office for half an hour before he finally started anything.

At lunch he stained his tie with coffee.

As he tried to leave his boss caught him to talk about going on a business trip in a month.

When he finally got home, however, his day was brightened considerably.

He opened the door and stepped out of the rain, then he heard a little girl yell, "daddy! Daddy!" and Sirius couldn't help but grin.

As he went into their kitchen he saw Remus smiling from the table, but their four year old daughter was a blur as she launched herself from her chair to give Sirius a hug.

Sirius grinned, picking her up and spinning her around, "hey Princess," he said, kissing her cheek, "how was your day with Papa?"

"We went to Aunt Lily's," she told him happily, "and I got to play with Harry."

"Lucky you, did you see Uncle James?" he asked, "he wasn't at work today, I might go next door and question him," he added, looking at Remus.

James and Lily were Sirius and Remus' best friends from boarding school; after they adopted Hope as a baby they found that the old couple next door to James and Lily were selling their house. Everything had turned out perfectly.

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius, "leave James alone," he said, "he took the day off to take care of some household stuff Lily's been asking him to do for about two years."

Sirius laughed and put Hope down again, "alright you go finish your dinner," he instructed, "I need to change into drier clothes."

Hope did as she was told and ran to sit back at the table. Sirius almost scoffed at the food on her plate, dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets with a side of peas and carrots.

Sirius always cooked for him and Remus because Hope simply refused to eat what Sirius cooked. He liked to say he was an experimental cook, mixing lots of flavours and textures together to make the perfect meal.

However, Hope had the appetite of a four year old and anything too delicious or not sufficiently dinosaur shaped was just not good enough.

After Sirius had changed into a t-shirt and jeans he went back downstairs into the kitchen.

Hope had gone, watching cartoons on the TV presumably, as she always did after dinner.

Remus smiled and walked to Sirius, wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing his cheek, "how was work, Love?" he asked.

"Terrible," he groaned, resting his head on Remus' shoulder, "I'm so glad to be home, you have no idea."

"Well tomorrow's Sunday so you won't have to deal with any of that for a day," Remus reminded him, "and you'll get a long lie, if we keep Hope up late."

Sirius laughed, "Remus, that's bad parenting."

Remus chuckled too, "I was kidding," he muttered, "now make me my dinner, I'm starving."

"Yes dear," Sirius replied in a monotone voice, jokingly.

Remus just rolled his eyes, "dad's ill again," he said.

"What?" Sirius asked as he started pulling pots and pans out of cupboards.

"He's not doing to well," he said, "and mum can hardly look after him anymore so I'm going to drive to London tonight and get an early train to Wales tomorrow, okay?"

"Oh, okay," Sirius said, knowing it must be bad if Remus was planning on travelling all that way, "tell them I was asking for them."

"I will," Remus replied, quietly, "thanks for understanding."

"Don't thank me," he whispered, kissing Remus' cheek, which made him smile.

"I'm going to get Hope ready for bed," he said, leaving Sirius to his cooking.

* * *

Later that night, when Hope was fast asleep, Sirius and Remus stood by the front door, rain still pouring down.

Sirius was feeling uneasy about Remus driving for an hour in the dark in this weather, "why don't you wait until tomorrow, Love?" he asked.

"Don't worry so much," Remus said, kissing Sirius on the lips quickly, "I'll call you when I reach London."

"Fine," Sirius muttered, not really happy about it.

Remus smiled, hugging Sirius tightly for a few moments before pulling away, "see you soon," he said, "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied.

He watched as Remus took his bag and walked to the car. He waved as the car backed out of the driveway and disappeared down the street.

He sighed again and closed the door, deciding to just go to bed until Remus phoned, in about an hour.

* * *

Five hours later he was woken by a shrill noise, a ringing. It took a moment for Sirius to realise that it was the phone. He sat up and rubbed his eyes before answering it.

"Hello?" he said, his voice croaky from sleep.

"Mr. Black?" a voice he didn't recognise questioned.

"Yes, that's me," Sirius replied, brow furrowed in confusion, "who is this?"

"This is Doctor Noble at St. Mungos Hospital," the voice explained, "I'm afraid to say there's been an accident involving your husband."


	2. Chapter 2

"This is Doctor Noble at St. Mungos Hospital," the voice explained, "I'm afraid to say there's been an accident involving your husband."

"What?" Sirius asked, suddenly wide awake, "what do you mean an accident? What happened?"

"I'm not entirely sure, Sir, you'll have to talk to the police when you come to the hospital," Doctor Noble explained.

"No I mean is he alright?" Sirius questioned, quickly getting agitated at the doctor, "is Remus okay?"

"Mr. Black, if you come down to the hospital we'll have someone explain everything to you," the doctor said, patiently.

"Why?" Sirius demanded, "is there something you can't tell me over the phone?"

"If you'd please calm down, Sir," Doctor noble responded coolly, "we are still running tests the best thing you can do for him now would be to go to the hospital where you can be updated regularly."

"Okay, fine," Sirius muttered, "I'll be there soon," he hung up the phone without another word and started rushing about, getting dressed, trying not to panic.

"Daddy?" the tiny voice almost gave Sirius a heart attack.

"Hope?" he murmured, _Oh God I almost forgot about Hope_, "come here, sweetheart."

Hope ran over to him, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Sirius wrapped her up in his arms, holding her close.

He allowed himself to slow down for a moment, think things through.

He carried her back over to the bed and picked up the phone, calling James.

After a few rings James picked up, "this better be an emergency," he mumbled, groggily.

"It is, James," Sirius sighed, "Remus has been in some sort of accident, I don't really know what."

"Oh my god, is he alright?" James asked.

"I don't know," Sirius answered, trying hard to keep his voice steady, he didn't want to get emotional in front of his daughter, he'd scare her, "I just, need you to look after Hope for me while I go to the hospital."

"Yeah of course, mate," James said, softly, "bring her over."

"Thanks," Sirius muttered, hanging up the phone again.

Hope was looking up at him, "what's wrong with Papa?" she whispered, her brown eyes wide with worry.

"Nothing, Love," Sirius breathed, "come on, you're having a sleepover."

She didn't respond, just lay her head on Sirius' shoulder, practically falling asleep again.

He took her outside and to the house next door, the lights were on even though it was very early in the morning and they didn't need to ring the door bell as James and Lily were waiting for them.

"I'll take Hope," Lily whispered as she saw she was asleep, she took her up to the spare bedroom and tucked her in.

Meanwhile James was talking to Sirius, "I should go to the hospital with you," he suggested.

Sirius shook his head, "no, I can't ask you to do that," he said, "it's late and you'll want to spend tomorrow with Harry, not me."

James rolled his eyes, "you know I'm going to win the argument."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius sighed, though he couldn't help but smile a bit.

Lily came back downstairs and hugged Sirius without a word, "it'll be okay," she whispered, "Remus has been in and out of hospital a lot as a kid, he always pulls through."

Sirius nodded, of course he already knew all this, but it was reassuring to hear it.

James went up to get dressed and Sirius pulled away from Lily's embrace.

"I didn't have time to pack Hope a bag," he explained, "so here's the spare house key, just get whatever she needs from there, actually I think I may have forgotten to lock the door behind me..."

"I'll do it for you," she said, heading out into the crisp air, thankfully it had stopped raining.

She came back inside as James came downstairs, "right," he said, "let's go, we'll take my car."

Sirius nodded, "thank you," he said to Lily as he walked out.

"Don't mention it," she replied, "and give my love to Remus."

_I will If I can._

* * *

They got to the hospital half an hour later and they both rushed in.

A nurse at reception gave them directions up to the ward. Sirius just wanted to get there and was paying no attention to what that ward treated, however, James read the sign and saw with a sinking feeling what might be wrong with Remus.

When they reached the ward a doctor came over to them, "Mr. Black?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sirius said, stepping forward, "where's Remus?"

"I'm Doctor Noble," the doctor responded, "I think I should tell you what happened to your husband before you go in."

"I just want to see him," Sirius muttered in a voice that suggested to was trying hard to remain calm, between panicking about Remus and annoyance that this doctor just wouldn't take them to him.

"Mr. Lupin suffered a severe head injury during a car accident," Doctor Noble told him, "he was unconscious when he was brought here and soon after surgery he slipped into a coma."

Sirius just stared at the doctor, unable or unwilling to understand what he was saying.

"We're very sorry Mr. Black," he continued, "we've done everything we can, we'll just have to wait and see. This way."

He started walking down the ward and it took a hand on the shoulder from James to get Sirius moving again.

They followed him to a room and went in.

All at once the full situation finally hit Sirius and he had to sit down in the chair next to Remus' bed. He felt tears in his eyes as he looked at Remus, fast asleep.

He took his hand, which was freezing cold, lying on top of the sheets, and held it tightly in his own.

"He'll wake up," he whispered to James as he got another chair and sat down, "just wait."

* * *

Author's note- Sorry! I had to upload this chapter again due to a small problem, should be fixed now though. Reviews would be very much appreciated, thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

"Who's that?" Hope asked, pointing at a picture in the album Lily was showing her.

It was a picture of Sirius at Lily and James' wedding, smiling happily at the camera with a glass of wine in his hand.

Hope hadn't slept for very long, she'd woken up, calling for her papa and couldn't get back to sleep so Lily had taken her downstairs so she didn't wake Harry up.

She had found the album herself, lying open on the floor from where Lily and James had been looking at them the night before.

"That's your daddy," Lily told her, smiling gently.

Hope giggled and shook her head, "that's not daddy," she said.

"Yes it is," Lily responded patiently, "I know he looks a little different, his hair is shorter and he's a bit older but he's your daddy."

Hope smiled and flipped over the page, "that's Papa," she said, pointing at Remus in the next picture, one of him and Sirius dancing.

Lily nodded, "yeah, he hasn't changed that much," she commented, smiling as she looked at Hope, glad she had calmed down a little from before. Lily always thought it was frightening how much kids could understand from their parents, Hope knew that something was wrong with Remus and was worried about him even though she was only four.

As they were looking at the photos the phone started ringing.

Lily put the album to one side and went to answer it.

"It's me," James said after Lily answered.

"James," Lily replied, "what's happening?"

"Remus slipped into a coma," James told her.

"Oh my God," Lily whispered, sitting back down on the couch, "is he going to be okay?"

"I have no idea, Lils," James said, truthfully, "Sirius is, well, he's a mess. He keeps telling me to wait a moment, he's convinced that Remus will just wake up."

"He's always been like that, James," Lily murmured, being quiet so Hope didn't hear too much, "always been more hopeful. Don't let him lose that, that's what will crush him."

"Yeah, I know," James muttered, "it's just hard, you know?"

"I know." Lily said, her voice filled with emotion, "I can't believe this is happening. This happens to other people, you read it in the paper and you think "that's terrible," but it never happens to someone you love."

"Don't cry, Lils," James insisted, "it's going to be fine."

"Now you sound like Sirius," Lily pointed out.

James rolled his eyes, "I don't know whether to be optimistic or feel hopeless," he admitted.

"Just be there for Sirius," Lily commanded, "go on, get back into the ward."

"Right, I'll call you later."

"Bye"

James put his phone away and stood for a moment in the brisk cold, shivering and running his hands over his hands. He was exhausted and worried. Part of him was idealistic enough to think that this may all be a terrible dream and he'll wake up the next morning to Harry jumping on him and Sirius and Remus will both bring Hope over for Sunday lunch.

However, that isn't how the world works. So, James sighed and finally dragged himself back into the hospital.

Sirius was still sitting on the chair, talking to Remus, he'd watched some movie where the handsome man in the coma could hear everything so maybe that was true.

"Remember the last time we were in this hospital Remus?" Sirius was saying, softly, "the day Hope was born. And Maisy Angel, who was the one giving birth, had to calm us down."

James stood by the door, listening, he almost laughed when he heard the name "Maisy Angel", it was the nickname Sirius had given Hope's birth mother, Maisy Collins, after she agreed that she wanted them to adopt her baby.

"And when she finally arrived and you picked her up, the look on your face was the most beautiful I've ever seen you, Remus," Sirius continued, "after I while I did start to wonder if you'd ever let me have a turn holding her."

James could remember how much that day had meant to the both of them. They'd been trying to adopt a baby longer than James and Lily had been trying to get pregnant.

They needed to get Remus' mum involved, she'd done some work in adoption agencies back in Wales so had some experience with them and James' dad had to help too, him being a well known lawyer, Charles Potter had a lot of influence.

Sirius and Remus had been so grateful for all the help they'd received which is why they named the baby Hope Charlotte Lupin-Black. Hope for Remus' mum and Charlotte as a close variation of Charles for James' dad.

"Remember when she grabbed my finger?" Sirius was now whispering, "and she wouldn't let go, squeezing as hard as she could with her tiny little fist. That's when I knew I was a daddy. You were her papa from the moment Maisy Angel signed the paperwork."

James looked round as he saw someone approaching the door, it was Doctor Noble.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking at James, "but I'm afraid I have to ask you to go home, there are visiting hours put in place. In this ward it's less for patients and more for family members. I bet Mr. Black wouldn't go home unless in was written in the rules and that's exactly what they're there for."

"I understand," James replied, "Sirius, it's time to go home."

"No."

"Sirius, we can come back when it's visiting time," James tried to explain, "you've been here three hours already."

"But what if he wakes up?" Sirius questioned with tears in his eyes.

"He'll still be here when we get back," James replied, calmly.

"No, I have to be here for him," Sirius insisted.

"You have to be there for Hope too," James reminded him, "she needs you more than Remus does."

Sirius didn't say anything, didn't move.

"Remus needs doctors and medicine," James continued, "Hope needs her daddy."

Sirius kept looking at Remus for a moment longer but sighed and leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead, "I love you," he breathed before he turned and headed out the door with James.

He paused and looked back and could have sworn he saw Remus' eyelids flicker.

But then again, it easily could have been his imagination.

* * *

A/N- I like this chapter. It's really just me trying to give an insight into everyone's mind set after the tragedy, as it were. I may or may not have cried writing this part. Anyway, please leave me a review for any comments or advice. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

When they got back to James and Lily's house it was almost lunchtime. Hope was fast asleep on the couch, exhausted after her interrupted night.

Lily made them all cups of tea and the three of them sat around the kitchen table. The room was eerily silent, because someone important was missing from it.

A few times Lily opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She needed to say something, but knew the other people in the room would not react kindly to it. She took a deep breath, deciding she needed to keep a promise.

"Peter phoned," she said, looking at the table as Sirius' head whipped up.

"Why do we care what that little rat is doing?" James muttered, darkly, staring at the table.

"He heard about Remus and wanted to know if he's okay-," Lily tried to explain.

"Okay!" Sirius exclaimed, "Peter doesn't give a damn whether or not Remus is okay!"

"Sirius," Lily sighed, "you lot used to be best friends, of course he cares."

"He almost got me thrown in prison, Lily," Sirius said, lowering his voice after he'd realised he's been shouting, "he planted that stuff on me five years ago. We wouldn't have been able to get Hope and Remus would've ended up living in poverty without me there."

James looked at Lily, "and he was best mates with Snape after school too," he pointed out, the mention of Snape made Lily look down now, "and you know he gave our names to that mental Riddle guy, he tried to kill me."

"I'm sorry," Lily whispered, "I just, wasn't thinking straight. Almost forgot all the stuff he did."

"It's okay," Sirius sighed, sitting down again, "we're all tired."

A few more minutes of awkward silence later Hope came into the room, "daddy?" she asked, sleepily.

"Come here Sweetheart," Sirius instructed, lifting her onto his lap, "you okay?"

She nodded, "where's Papa?" she questioned.

"He's still at the hospital," Sirius answered, wondering how on earth he would explain this to her, she was only four.

"But I thought he was gonna come home," Hope said, looking at Sirius.

"He's too sick," Sirius replied, "he's sleeping and we can't wake him up just now. But we're trying and he'll be with us soon."

"But I need him now," Hope mumbled, "he promised we'd go to the park and do finger painting."

"When he's better you can do all of that and more," Sirius sighed, "come on, now, we're off home. You need a nap and so does daddy."

Sirius carried her back to their house next door, changing her into some clean pyjamas so she could take a nap.

"Right, into bed then," he told her, but she shook her head, "come on, Hope, please?"

She shook her head again and hugged Sirius' leg, looking up at him she muttered, "can I sleep in your bed? You might get lonely without Papa there."

And how was Sirius supposed to say no to that? He lifted her up and carried her through to his bedroom and tucked her in. He got changed into his own pyjamas and got into bed, he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Sirius woke up a few hours later, when he got a phone call. It was from the police, they asked if it would be convenient for him if they came to his house because they have some information on what may have caused the accident.

So an hour later when the doorbell rang, Sirius was ready to let the police officers in. He offered them tea or coffee and a biscuit, because that's what Remus always did, and sat with them at the kitchen table.

"So, we did a little investigating," the older police officer began, she had taken off her hat and she red hair was pulled back into a tight bun, "and we currently believe that the other driver involved in the accident was driving under the influence of alcohol."

She paused and it took a moment for that to sink in for Sirius. If it was this guy's fault then they could lose Remus all because some guy couldn't be arsed calling a taxi and decided to drive home.

"He woke up about an hour ago," her partner, a young man, continued, "he's got a concussion which is minor at best. His account and eye witness accounts lead us to think he was drunk, we still need to get information from the hospital to confirm that but we think it's a pretty safe bet."

Sirius couldn't believe this. His Remus was in a coma he may never wake up from and the drunk driver who caused this accident was going to walk away with a bit of a sore head.

After another hour the police officers left. They asked a few routine questions about why Remus was out so late and then explained what would happen if the man was arrested and convicted.

Once they'd left Sirius had to sit down for a moment to gather his thoughts.

Now that he'd had this chat from the police it was all becoming so real.

He could lose Remus.

* * *

A/N- This was a really short chapter, sorry!


	5. Chapter 5

Sirius stumbled into the hospital, it was strange, the image was blurred, distorted as he ran up to Remus' room, but he wasn't there.

There was an awful feeling of dread in Sirius' stomach and he knew straight away what had happened.

Remus was gone. He wasn't coming back.

Sirius hadn't even been there for him.

He tried to turn around, he struggled to breathe and as he attempted to shout for Remus he found he had no voice.

Then he saw Hope, running down the hallway of the hospital, "come on Daddy!" she yelled playfully.

He tore after her, trying to tell her to slow down, he felt as if there was a weight crushing him from above, making it near impossible to run.

Hope ran into a room and Sirius followed.

It was completely white and blank apart from a sheet covered table in the middle.

Sirius hesitated, realising that both Hope and the door he had come in through had disappeared.

He took a step forward and saw that the sheet on the table was covering something distinctly human-shaped.

He pulled the sheet down, a face was revealed.

The body was like a skeleton already, its eyes were glazed over and staring at nothing, the skin was as white as the room they were in and he was colder than ice.

Sirius finally found his voice, "Remus," he whispered, "no, no, no, Remus."

He sat bolt upright, breathing rapidly.

He blinked and looked around, he was in his bedroom.

It took him a moment to remember that Remus was still alive, though, the negative part of Sirius argued that someone in a coma is barely alive.

He didn't get back to sleep again that night. Instead, he spent his time combing through websites on comas, wanting to understand what Remus was going through. Maybe he could find something that would help.

He found that he could try talking to Remus, playing him some music and just trying to show him love.

When Hope was awake he gave her breakfast and took her to James and Lily's.

He then went to the hospital to visit Remus, he sat down in the chair next to his bed.

"Hey, Remus," he said, softly, taking Remus' hand, "nothing much has been happening, Hope misses you. She's with James and Lily, causing trouble with Harry, probably..."

He kept up the one-sided conversation for about ten minutes, when he decided to try playing him some music.

He carefully put the headphones near Remus' head, too worried about hurting him to actually put them on, but the music was reasonably loud.

Remus' favourite musicians ranged from The Beatles and Queen to ABBA and even songs from Les Mis and other musicals, Sirius would tease him endlessly about it.

Sirius also brought Remus' favourite book, he figured if Remus woke up while he wasn't there he's see the book and knew that Sirius had been visiting, it might even offer some comfort to him, so he placed it on the bedside table and after he's listened to the music for a while he explained all of this to Remus.

Sirius went home later that afternoon. When he got in he played with Hope, tea party was her favourite game, and he couldn't help wondering how Remus managed to do this every day. He loved Hope with all his heart, but there is only so much imaginary tea, imaginary biscuits and conversations with stuffed toys one adult can take.

He received a phone call from Mrs Lupin, which was a pleasant escape from the tea party, or so he thought. Mrs Lupin was a lovely, brilliant woman, but she was a very protective mother. And Remus was her only son, she loved him more than anything.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you straight away Mrs Lupin, it's been a bit hectic," Sirius tried to explain, "yes, I know, I know. I suppose it was stupid letting him go alone, but he is a grown man, Mrs Lupin and somebody needed to be here for Hope."

Sirius sighed, as much as he loved his mother-in-law, he was having a hard time listening to her blaming him for this accident. But he got through it, because he knew that she's just worried about her son.

Sirius would probably do the same thing if Hope was married and got hurt.

But, in the end, Mrs Lupin had left nothing but a deep feeling of guilt, which settled in his heart.

Why hadn't he stopped Remus from going? Or gone with him?

_Why Remus? Why not me?_

* * *

AN: Hey, I'm sorry this is a short chapter and I'm sorry it was so long since the last, I just started college and it's been pretty stressful. Anyways, thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few days Sirius learned that there were very few treatments that the doctors could try on Remus.

But that didn't stop Sirius from visiting him every day. It took up most of his time now, going to see Remus.

He was given time off work, Hope would go to James and Lily's and Sirius would sit and talk to a sleeping man for hours.

Sirius soon realised that he couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't keep leaving Hope with Lily, telling her that her Papa will be better soon, hardly spending any time with her. She was only four, and, one day as he talked to Remus' lifeless form on the hospital bed he started feeling guilty, he ended up confessing all this to Remus. And he knew that Remus would tell him, if he could, that Hope was the most important thing, she needed to be looked after more than he did.

He went home earlier than usual that day. When he got back home Hope and Harry were playing outside in the garden. Lily smiled as she made them tea in the kitchen, the back door was open so they could watch the kids.

"What are they playing?" Sirius asked in amusement as he watched them running around, it looked like Harry was pretending to be shot by some invisible bad guy.

"I think they're playing Avengers," Lily replied, rolling her eyes, "they had an argument over who got to be Captain America earlier, Hope wasn't taking Harry's excuses of "you're a girl, you can't be him," and eventually he gave in."

Sirius laughed, "that sounds like her" he said, "Remus tells her all the time that she can dress how she wants, wear her hair how she wants, be whatever she wants..."

"It's obviously had a positive effect on her so far," Lily smiled as she placed the mugs of tea on the table, "she's a confident little thing."

Sirius smiled proudly, "yes, she is," he agreed as he sipped his tea.

Then they heard someone crying and Hope and Harry appeared in the doorway, Harry holding Hope's hand as she sobbed.

"She fell over," Harry explained.

"Aww, sweetheart," Sirius said, lifting her up and hugging her close, "did you hurt yourself? Where does it hurt?"

"M-my knee," Hope wailed as if it were the end of the world.

Sirius looked at her knee and saw she'd scraped it, it was bleeding a little but wasn't too bad.

Lily went at got their little first aid kit, Sirius sat Hope on the counter and washed her wound before putting a plaster on it, he kissed her forehead, "all better?" he asked.

She shook her head, looking up at him with wide, watery eyes.

"You want daddy to kiss it better?" he asked, grinning at her, "daddy's kisses are magical, you know."

Hope giggled and nodded.

Sirius kissed her knee, twice just to make sure, "how's that?" he questioned.

Hope nodded again, smiling now and Sirius smiled back, "good," he said, "why don't you two play inside now?"

"Okay," she replied as Sirius helped her to the ground again, her and Harry ran off into the playroom.

As Sirius watched them go to play he stopped to think for a moment, maybe he could manage this alone, as hard as losing Remus would be for the both of them, maybe they could pull through.

Hope may yet lose her papa, but she'd never lose her daddy, Sirius would make sure of that.

* * *

The next day Sirius went to the hospital a little later and, this time, Hope was with him.

He was a little worried about taking Hope, but maybe her presence would help Remus, and she had been getting even more upset every time Remus was mentioned around her because she wasn't allowed to visit.

She had insisted on bringing her favourite teddy with her, because papa needed someone to look after him.

When they got to the hospital room Sirius lifted her gently and sat her at the bottom of the bed. Sirius had told Hope that even though Remus was sleeping he might be able to hear her, so try to talk to him.

Hope was a very chatty little girl and soon Remus was filled on on the tragic knee scraping of the previous day, the small boy at the play park that tried to take Harry's ball the day before, how she got flour in her hair three days ago when she and Lily made brownies and finally she told her papa how much she missed him.

"Please wake up, papa," she said, "you need to come home, daddy's cooking is rubbish."

Hope looked up at Sirius, "why won't he wake up?" she asked him.

Sirius took her onto his lap, "he was driving to see granny and grandad," he explained, "when another car crashed into his, he got a bad bump on his head and now he needs to sleep."

"When will he wake up?"

"I don't know, Princess," Sirius sighed.

Hope was too young to understand, there were tears welling up in her eyes, "we need him," she said as she started to cry, "papa, wake up papa!"

"Shh, Hope," Sirius tried to calm her, holding her close to him.

She sobbed into his chest, "I want papa back!" she cried, "bring him back!"

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, to steady himself, then he stood up and carried her away from the hospital.

Neither of them noticed it, but as they left, Remus' eyes really did flicker this time.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading this chapter! I just wanted a little more interaction between Hope and Sirius, because he's just the sweetest dad. Anyways, please review!


	7. Chapter 7

It was now two weeks after the accident and there was still no change in Remus' condition.

Sirius was beginning to lose faith. How long would they keep him in the hospital for? How long before they tell him it was time to let go?

These two weeks had stretched out into an eternity and he was already exhausted from trying to take care of Hope and visit Remus. He was stressed too, he seemed to be going through his day constantly on the verge of a headache, a buzzing in his ears.

He had taken Hope to Lily's around lunchtime on this particular day before he got in his car and started driving towards the hospital.

On his route, he always tried not to think about it, but he passed the big old house he used to live in with his parents. And a few more streets along he saw the church he was forced to go to every Sunday.

His childhood had not been a happy one. It was full of his parents trying to push their ideals on him, their prejudices and other posh and proper people who judged him from the moment he learned to question the truth of the bias he was being taught.

When he went away to Hogwarts, the rather famous boarding school in the north of Scotland, he found himself sharing a dormitory with ordinary people.

James, a posh English bloke who was plenty rich like Sirius' own family, but they were actually very kind.

Peter, he lived near the borders of England and Scotland, on the Scottish side, but he had gotten in on a scholarship, though they didn't speak to him anymore, he used to be a down to earth person and would speak his mind, which got him in trouble now and then.

Then there was Remus. He was definitely not from a rich family. He lived in a small cottage in the Welsh countryside and it was a wonder he was even accepted into the school. Again, it was on a scholarship, but he'd been ill so often as a kid it looked like he wouldn't get in. Thankfully, he did.

Sirius always found that James and Peter were fun to joke around with but there had always been something different in his relationship with Remus.

They could stay up all night just talking. At first it was troubled childhoods which made created a bond between them, then in their sixth year, after Sirius had left home and family behind, they felt ready to explore their feelings for each other.

But Sirius couldn't help but think back to the bad times when he saw that old, derelict house. He couldn't help thinking that he was the only one of its former occupants that is still alive.

When he saw the church he thought about the Sundays spent listening to something he barely understood because he was only a kid.

He got to the hospital and went up to Remus' room, a routine that was certainly becoming familiar.

He was starting to recognise the nurses, they'd smile and say hello to him. A few even knew his name. He was also noticing other regular visitors to this particular ward.

There was a woman who looked about thirty years old who came everyday to visit her sister who was sleeping next door. There was a family, two young boys and two harassed looking parents who they had to keep quiet as they made their weekly visit to see great grandad.

And there was the elderly man whose wife had passed away a month ago, Sirius, had heard the poor man talking about how wonderful the nurses had been. He still pops into the ward every Saturday with chocolates and flowers, his way of saying thank you to the people who took care of the person he loves.

Could that be Sirius some day? Except a twenty six year old version?

Only now Sirius realised that they had lived their lives in a rush.

James and Lily got married at eighteen years old, a year later Sirius and Remus got married too. Looking back nineteen seemed too young to be getting married.

The next year Harry was born and another two years after that so was Hope. They were all too young to be parents.

But it still seemed right.

Maybe some people wanted adventure and travel and all the other stuff you can have when you choose to marry later in life and start a family later, but Sirius didn't want any of that.

He wants Remus and he wants Hope.

He wants them to be happy in their house in the suburbs near a good school.

He wants them healthy.

He wants Remus to be awake.

Sirius could hear his mother's voice in his head, "I want doesn't get." He supposed it was true.

There's no way in the world that Remus will get better just because Sirius wants him to. If Remus could hear him thinking that then he'd definitely try his best, that's what he's like, but unfortunately that's not how it works this time.

Sirius has also noticed that some days he's more optimistic than others.

That day was an "other" day and he felt like he was drowning in a sense of helplessness.

All he could do was watch Remus, talk to him maybe. But it was like talking to a brick wall. Nothing he could do would help Remus.

He was in a bad state of mind when he walked out of the hospital two hours later.

Wiping tears from his eyes he knew he couldn't go home and take care of Hope like this. So, he took a detour.

He had no idea why he decided to come here of all places.

The church was just like he remembered it, big and draughty. Its ceilings were high and the walls were made from ancient stone. The setting sun cast its rays through the stained glass windows so colours were reflected on the floor and walls.

However, it was empty.

There wasn't a mass being said and no choir practise or prayer meeting.

Sirius took a seat on one of the benches. Even though he no longer believed any of the stories he was once told here he still found it calming to be in a place like this, a good place to think.

When they came to church his parents couldn't treat him like they did at home. This became his safe haven as a child. It was here he'd decided to run away.

"Something on your mind, sir?"

Sirius jumped as he heard the voice, looking around to the door he saw a man walking towards him, judging by the way he was dressed he was the priest that had taken over from old Father James, the one Sirius had come to know, however this new priest was much younger.

"You could say that, Father," Sirius sighed, moving over to let the man sit down next to him. He'd forgotten about the way these people could almost always sense when you were needing someone to talk to.

"You're Sirius Black aren't you?" the young priest asked, "I remember you from when I used to come here."

Sirius looked at him, "that was over ten years ago."

"I know," he replied, "I have a very good memory. What's troubling you?"

"It's my, um, partner," Sirius mumbled, "there was an accident and now he's in a coma. I don't know if I'll ever see him again."

The priest stayed quiet for a moment, "I'm very sorry to hear that, Mr. Black," he said, "anything I can do to help you at this time, please don't hesitate to ask."

Sirius smiled a little, "no, it's fine," he said, "there's nothing anyone can do."

"Well that's not true, is it?" the priest said, "we can hope, we can have faith, we can pray. I suppose, as it's been ten years since your last visit, you're not really one for religion anymore."

Sirius nodded.

"But you still find comfort in a church, that says something, I guess" he continued, "even if you believe that nothing in the world can help your husband now, know this that he will be in my prayers."

Later that night Sirius realised just how much that meant. A highly devoted, religious man was going to think about Remus, was going to ask some higher power to bring him back.

That was special and Sirius was glad to have found a little more hope again, though he probably wasn't going to go back to church anytime soon.

But, something did change after that day.

Whether it was Sirius' optimism, the medicine or the priests prayers that had helped him, no one would ever be able to say, but they do know that the next day Sirius went to visit Remus he was breathing on his own without the help of a machine.

* * *

A/N: Hey, I just wanted to say that this is the only chapter that will have much to do with religion, I just wanted to have a nice way to finally bring through some change to Remus' condition. Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!


	8. Chapter 8

Doctor Noble told Sirius, the next time he went to visit Remus, that he was finally showing signs of getting better.

Sirius couldn't help but be a little bit worried, why was it taking so long? In the movies they just wake up one day and everything's fine.

But the doctor explained that coma patients don't just suddenly regain consciousness, waking up is gradual process.

When Sirius went into the room to see him he couldn't help smiling a little.

It was probably Sirius' imagination, but Remus almost looked healthier. Even though he was in much the same position, he supposed it was the absence of the big machine helping him breathe.

Of course, there were other machines, making odd beeps now and then.

Sirius sat down in his seat next to Remus, taking his hand as he started the usual routine of telling him about their day.

He told Remus about going to the park with Hope, Lily and Harry and how the kids had run off chasing ducks until Harry fell in the mud. He told him that Lily had taken Hope shopping the other day and came home with way too many new dresses to fit in Hope's wardrobe.

He paused for a second and looked down at Remus. Had he imagined that? Maybe, but it really looked like his eyelids had fluttered.

Sirius took a deep breath, knowing that Remus was slowly becoming more responsive he decided to take action, "Remus, it's me, it's Sirius," he said, "c-can you hear me?"

He watched Remus' face intently, his eyelids flickered again. It could be a coincidence, but Sirius couldn't take that chance.

"Are you hurting?" Sirius asked, he felt the urge to whisper, but he tried not to, Remus might not be able to hear him.

This time there was no change.

Sirius tried asking a few more things, but nothing else happened.

After a while he looked at the clock, it was time for him to go and pick up Hope, he looked back at Remus and smiled a little, "I'm going now," he said, "I'll be back tomorrow, I love you."

He stood up and left the hospital.

When he knocked on the front door to James and Lily's house he couldn't help but grin, James answered the door, "hey," he greeted him, "you look happy."

Sirius nodded a little, not paying much attention as he heard a familiar voice yell "Daddy!" and he bent down automatically so he could pick up his daughter and hug her.

He suddenly felt like crying. He didn't really know why. Remus was getting better. Hope could have her Papa back soon. It was all a little overwhelming for Sirius.

He put Hope down again and told her to play with Harry and turned to James, "you know, I could really use a cup of tea," he stated.

James nodded, patting him on the back once as he closed the door, "go through to the kitchen," he said, "Lily's there."

Sirius did as he was instructed, forcing a smile as he saw Lily, she stood up to make tea.

"Sit down, Sirius," Lily instructed, softly, after a minute or two she had three mugs of tea on the table, James and Sirius took grateful sips of theirs as Lily sat down as well.

"So," James said, looking at Sirius, "what's happened then?"

"Remus is getting better," Sirius replied, "he can breathe on his own now and when I was talking to him his eyelids fluttered, I know he could hear me."

Lily took Sirius' hand from across the table, giving it a comforting squeeze, "that's great news," she smiled.

James nodded enthusiastically, "yeah, best news we've had yet," he agreed, "why're you upset then?"

Lily turned her gaze to her husband and glared at him as Sirius shrugged, "I'm happy, course I'm happy," he sighed, "it's just... almost too good to be true, you know? It's like I can only be hopeful when I'm with him, when I'm at home without him everything just seems a little bleak."

Lily nodded, "focus on the positives," she told him, "Remus is finally responding in some way and that's what matters. It can only get better from here, Sirius, I'm sure of it."

* * *

The next day Lily came to the hospital with him. She hadn't visited him yet, she'd been so busy taking care of the kids but luckily James decided to stay home with them for today, so she was able to go with Sirius.

It was nice, to have someone to chat to on the way to the hospital. It was also a good feeling to have someone with him in the hospital room with Remus.

Sirius had briefed Lily on the routine. First, they say who is in the room, then Sirius tells him he's about to hold his hand and does so, the they start to tell him all that has happened recently.

It went pretty much the same as the previous day. Towards the end of their stories Remus' facial expression seemed to change to a slight smile and his eyelids fluttered again. Sirius was sure he was trying to communicate, but just didn't quite know how yet.

But, his hand did twitch a little in Sirius', which he also took as a good sign.

While Lily was talking Sirius took a moment to just look at Remus. He looked so young and vulnerable. Sirius wondered what was going in his head.

Was he dreaming? Or was it just black?

Sirius had often found himself looking at articles and reports on the Internet on nights that he couldn't sleep, he'd learned that different people have different experiences with comas.

Some dream for the entire time, when they wake they can have trouble getting used to reality while others might be aware of their surroundings but unable to communicate.

Sirius thought the latter might be more likely for Remus, which is why the need to be able to talk to him was so important. He could not imagine how frustrating it must be to not be able to move or speak.

Sirius left the hospital happy again that afternoon. He was finally letting himself give in, and have a little bit of optimism.

* * *

A/N: Thanks so much for reading this chapter! Sorry it's been so long, I've had so many assessments for college so far, ugh. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter and if you did I'd love it if you left a review. Thanks again!


	9. Chapter 9

It was black. Everything, everywhere was dark; there was nothing.

Was this dying?

If this was dying, this is really a huge disappointment. Remus was promised pearly gates and kindly saints welcoming him into some better life, a second life.

But no, all he got was this never ending void of blackness.

Then he could here things. Sirius. Sirius' voice, talking to him. He tried to speak, to tell him he was okay, why couldn't he open his eyes or his mouth?

He couldn't move his hand, but then again he couldn't see his hand, what if he was moving it without knowing?

He was stuck inside his own body, trapped, he wasn't in control anymore. He could hear a voice, it was thick was emotion, Sirius, the name went through his confused mind again. He felt a small pressure on his forehead, a kiss, then it was gone, and so was the soft, beautiful voice that he loved. Come back.

That was the first day of Remus' coma.

* * *

Sirius went back to the hospital alone again, they went through the same routine, Sirius told Remus all of their news and some funny little stories. He held his hand as he read from a book and played some music in the background.

There were tiny little things, hints that Remus was still in there buried deep beneath whatever had happened to him the night of the accident.

Sometimes his eyes would flicker, sometimes he would apply the smallest amount of pressure to Sirius' hand, squeeze it, he almost didn't notice it at first.

It was something Remus use to do all the time. Remus, though very funny, adorable and sarcastic in the nicest of ways, not to mention the brains behind most of their amazing pranks at their boarding school was a little bit of an awkward introvert.

At the start of their relationship he'd found it hard to say things like "I love you", instead, he'd squeeze Sirius' hand, to let him know he was thinking about him. It was one of Sirius' favourite things in the world, they'd be at a concert, a bookshop, in class or even at home and he'd just feel that amazing pressure, that squeeze on his hand, that reminded him that Remus was there, was thinking about him and loved him with all his heart.

Sirius almost burst into tears in the hospital when he felt that slightly cold hand close a little around his own.

He'd been thinking a lot about their first few years together recently, neither of them had ever dared to dream they'd get this far, a beautiful daughter and an amazing house, Sirius with his great job. They were really living the dream life.

This accident, when Remus woke up, would be another painful memory that they can stick in the painful memories we're trying to forget box, like the time they broke up for a month during their fifth year, the state Sirius was in when he'd been kicked out of his house after telling his parents he loved Remus and when Hope got a really bad fever when she was only a few months old and they were really scared for her.

Remus would get better and life would go back to almost as it had been.

It had to be today. Remus would wake up today, he had to.

But maybe not. Sirius waited and waited, he called Lily to ask her to give Hope her dinner and put her to bed and then ran back up to the hospital room, almost expecting Remus to be ready for their romantic movie moment.

However, it wasn't a movie and Remus was still asleep.

An hour later Sirius returned home, he bundled up Hope's sleeping figure in his arms and took her back over to their own house, laying her down in his and Remus' bed as he thought they could both use the company.

Little did they know, that at the other side of town, in the hospital, Remus opened his eyes, "I love you," he whispered, only to find no one there to reply.

* * *

Very unlike the movies.

Instead, he got nurses and doctors, all rushing in. They talked, they asked him questions but they gave him no chance to ask his own.

He tried, but found that he couldn't form the words. He wanted to shout, shout for his husband, why wasn't he here? Why wasn't somebody on the phone to him, telling him to come and see him because he was here, awake, alive even.

He tried to remember what had happened, but he couldn't. He hugged Sirius, he told him he'd see him soon, that he loved him and then he'd gotten into the car and driven off. But that was it.

After that life ended, until now.

Well, he had been aware of himself for a while, but it was a strange disembodied feeling, he might have been dreaming.

God he was tired, so tired, he wanted to sleep but he was scared to close his eyes again.

He turned his head towards the door and saw him, Sirius, he had tears in his eyes, but he was smiling, he went straight to Remus' bedside and took his hand, "I'm here now," he whispered, "you're here now, everything's going to be fine."

Was it?

* * *

A/N- Sorry it's been so long, I've been so busy with college assessments. Also, this story just got a lot harder to write because of an accident involving a family member and a car so it's not been easy getting back into writing this fic, hope you guys understand and forgive. Thanks for reading and please, leave a review if you're enjoying this story.


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